Monday, March 14, 2011

I'm Empty of Care

Finally, someone agrees with me concerning the problem with the often-maligned and often-used phrase, "I couldn't care less."  I have tried to explain this linguistic error and it often takes the form of the following dialogue:

Mr. Brandt:  If you use the word things in your paper, I'll make you rewrite that sentence.  That word is too general, too nebulous.
Snarky, foolish sophomore (forgive the redundancy): I could care less.
Mr. Brandt: So you do care?
SFS: No. I just said I could care less.
Mr. Brandt: That means you care, because you could care less than you currently care.
SFS: No, it means I don't care about your things rule.
Mr. Brandt: Then you need to say, I couldn't care less.  That indicates all remnants of care have vanished.
SFS: Indicates?  What does that mean.
Mr. Brandt:  It means my work here is not yet done and that I have great job security.


Timothy Finkelstein said...

I am wildly empathetic of your plight.

Mark Squire said...

I could care less about your plight.


Cat said...

I spent last summer working with a group of students who were in a program to help get them into college. I must say it gave me a whole new appreciation for my past teachers. Although, I will say in this instance the example you give is quite comical.